Chapter 18

I went to Alicia´s house to safe that I`m still allowed to see my son in twenty years and what happens? After just five minutes of talking to Alicia, she wants me to leave the house and never see Roof again. That´s a bit ironic, isn´t it? Just how Andrea said. Imagine what could have happened, if Alicia didn´t calm done. She might have lost her temper and would have started hitting me and I would have had to protect myself and maybe I would have broken her nose and than her mum might already have called the police and I wouldn´t have been allowed to see Roof anymore. I think that´s why 80% of the teenage fathers aren´t allowed to see their sons or daughters anymore. So it´s not the boy´s fault, is it? Okay maybe there are some other reasons why fathers are not allowed to see their kids anymore, but do you see what I want to tell you? Do you see how fast things like that can happen? Only one or two misunderstanding words, only one afternoon in that your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend is in a bad mood and your life gets messed a second time. The first time you got messed up by being a father and now, when you start to love your kid, you´re not allowed to see it anymore. I talk like all that has happened to me, don´t I? I´m happy that it hasn´t happened to me till now. I´m even a bit glad.

Chapter 17

When I talk to my father, I sometimes think I talk to a teenager who copied some sentences of a bad American movie or reality-show about sex and relationships, like ´American Pie´ , ` American Pie IV´ or ´Rock of Love´. I hate ´Rock of Love´! My skateboard has more intelligence than all these unemployed porn stars and this blond jackass with his faked hair and…I better stop talking about this show, because it always makes me angry, how you may have noticed. Back to my father now, well, what I wanted to say is, that even if it´s copied, some parts of what he said are true. Well…but when I think about it again, it might not be copied, because who else knows better about it, than someone who has already been in a comparable situation? Or am I wrong about that? My mum has the same opinion like my father about the situation: Go home and don´t live with Alicia. That´s what I thought about too, but in the first night I slept in my old room at my mum´s house, I started missing Roof. Believe me, that´s terrible! If I sleep in the one house, I miss my mother, but if I sleep in the other house, I miss my son. I´m also afraid of ending up with Alicia like my parents ended up with each other. If I ever split up with her, I still want to be a good friend of hers and when I say friends I don´t mean ´friends´ like my parents, I mean friends like Doug and Deacon from ´King of Queens´ or ´Itchy and Scratchy´ from `The Simpsons` or…no. Forget about the last example, that was weird, but you know what I mean, don´t you. Real friends. For the baby´s well-being.

Chapter 16

Rufus Gerson that fits , doesn´t it? I think it fits, but sadly it doesn´t matter if it fits or not, because Roof is my son and not Jason´s. I´m surprised that I really wanted to leave Alicia and Roof alone. I thought I love them, but obviously my appetence to go back home is stronger than my love to the both of them. That seems to be a bit cold or heartless to you, but I can do nothing against it. I try to stay strong, I don´t want to hurt them, but believe me, that´s bloody hard. It´s not because of Roof, it´s because of Alicia. She´s got a very difficult personality and me too, so you can imagine how hard this is and not just for me. Sometimes I want to go back to Hastings again, with Roof, but that´s realistic as that Alicia Becomes a model. Oh…and if I´m honest, Rufus Gerson sounds stupid!!!;D

Chapter 15

I really like Alicia´s house, nice and big rooms, an fascinating kitchen only the room where I live now seems to be a bit smaller and tighter. I guess it´s because there are three people living in there: Alicia, Roof and me. I don´t like living here, but I have to, don´t I? I miss my old room and , maybe it sounds a bit childish, but I miss a TH poster hanging over the bed. Oh, and I miss my mum of course, but now back to the poster. Though I know that it´s not more than 1 meter away from me it feels like it´s `Miles Away`. I usually need to talk to him every evening to calm down, but that´s not possible because I´m never alone in this bloody room. Bloody hell! I bet: two more weeks without any break and I´m insane.

Chapter 14

That´s how the things are going. One year ago I was the proud owner of a skateboard and a xBox and now I´m a proud father. I´m not proud of having a son with sixteen. I´m proud of having such a nice and cute boy. Last week I wished this day would be `The Day That Never Comes´, but it´s not ´The Day That Never Comes´ and I´m happy about this. For me it doesn´t matter if his second name is Jones or Burns. The only thing that matters now is that Roof is going to have a nice childhood and that he is going to be a good skater. :D No. That was just a joke. I promise he will never take one feet on any skateboard. He´ll play rugby or ice-hockey or American football or soccer. Everything but skating, it´s to dangerous and my mum wouldn´t like it.

Chapter 13

Mark is going to live in our house now. I´m not angry about this, how lot´s of other teens or kids would be, when their mothers have got new boyfriends. I like Mark .I think he is going to be a good father for my half-sister. Better than my father. No. I´ve got a good father… okay not that good, but I like him. I think if he wasn´t my father I wouldn´t like him, but I like him how I got to know him as father. However, what I wanted to say at the beginning was that I even think that it´s a good idea that Mark moves to us. That will be good for my sister´s development. I don´t want to have that my half-sister has to grow up in the same conditions like I had to. Not that they were bad, but I don´t know what it would be like now if there had been a father with us.

Extra post

I still can´t imagine how silly I must have had been when I made this girl pregnant.I mean, I really like her,I even love her,but you know...talking to TH,skating and so on. All the things that have been so importnat to me.They are all gone now.Because there is no time for it.Listen, I don´t want to have that you think I hate Roof,I love him.Latest since my last whizz into the future,where I´ve seen how nice and cute he is.
But...I´m sorry. I don´t know how to discribe this feeling.It´s a mix of sadness,happieness and fear,you know? I guess you don´t,because you have never been in my situation.

Chapter 12

And one more whizz into the future. Sometimes I think god hates me. My life is confused enough.I don´t need this whizzes into the future. They make me insane. Now I know what my little half-sister looks like and that I´m not able to take my own son for his jab because I don´t know his real name.How helpfull.The only positive aspect of this whizz into the future is that I know now how cute my son is.But it still would have been better if grew up like a normal teen-father.

Chapter 11

I don´t think that it´s good if I moved to Alicia, because if I lived there the baby would be with ma all the time and a baby´s voice is, as far as I know, always loud and anoying. I don´t think that I´m somone who kills babys, but I might loose my temper! I´m still a kid and don´t know what happens if I loose temper because the baby sreams all the time. I might choose the wrong way to calm it down. And of course it´s not good for my education because I still want to visit the college. Imagine: I´m in Alicia´s house and want to learn, but I´m not able to consentrate because of the baby´s voices. I would always have to change the house to learn if I moved to Alicia. That´s horrible !

Chapter 10

It´s good that me and Alicia aren´t split up any more. Not just because of our relationship, it´s important for our baby´s development. I don´t want to have that it grows up with split up parents, but that doesn´t mean that every kid with split up parents will end as a criminal.
I don´t like our NCT class, but I think it would make living with the baby easier. Maybe can visit a NCT class with people of our age, that might even be funny and interesting because we can talk to other teenagers who are in the same situation. Maybe I can talk to my mum, because she has been in the same situation 16 years ago, hasn´t she? She should be able to help us better than Alicia´s mum and she should stop asking me if Mark can move to our house. I´ve got enough problems, haven´t I? But he´s okay. I wouldn´t stop him from moving in our house.

Chapter 8

Oh no! You can´t imagine how much I hate myself. What have I been doing in Hastings ?! Did I went crazy ? How could I have been doing this? This trip didn´t blush my problems away. It might have had made my problems bigger. I just had luck that my parents split up some years ago and I could tell my mum that I did this trip because of them. Now I just have to go to family counseling with my mum and my dad. That´s not a big problem anymore. A bigger problem is that I still don´t know if Alicia is pregnant or not. And it would become a much bigger problem if Alicia is really pregnant. And now I feel sick because I didn´t ask her about that. I stayed at home for the whole day and did nothing but eating and watching TV.

Chapter 7

Nice. I´ve got a room and a job. In Hastings. That´s all I wanted to have, isn´t it. Maybe when I´ve got enough money earned here in Hastings, I can go to another country or even work on a ship. Then I would never have problems like I have had till yesterday anymore. In some years I would become captain of ship, maybe of a big ship and maybe I would even earn a lot of money. I think that´s the dream of every lonely man who doesn´t women anymore, isn´t it ? But if I think of it,… it isn´t my dream. Not really.

Chapter 6

I don´t know if this is a dream now or not! Everything seems to be so real, you know. But it isn´t. I mean it can´t be! Or maybe I have Alzheimer, like Alicia said. Maybe I just felt asleep last night and lost my memories. I heard of people who happened things like that to. I know this sounds weird, but it might be true ! And if it was a dream, why is it so realistic ? There are no monster, no flying cars, no zombies and stuff like this. Because usually things like that are always in my dreams. So maybe I have to go to a doctor and tell him that I lost my memories. No! I can´t do this. If I do this everybody is going to think that I´m crazy. Except from Rabbit.However…

To my future

Well, the first thing I can say is that I prey for that Alicia is not pregnant ! I mean, if she was pregnant I would have to change my whole life or I would have to run away. And that´s not what I want to do. I want to go to college and study arts and after studying I want go to America and become a famous proskater, like Tony . That´s what I want to do ! If I did this I would be the first person in the history of my family who visited college ! And I would be the first person in our family who is famous of course. I don´t want to spend my valuable time in feeding a baby or changing nappys ! I don´t to be a dad ! Not now ! I want to live !!!

Alicia

Usually Alicia is the perfect girlfriend: She`s pretty ,was always nice to me, sleeped with me and loved me of course. She`s even that pretty that she`s able to become a model. Being a model. That`s her dream. She even wants to miss the college for her dream. Maybe I wouldn`t be important to her anymore if she became a model. But that doesn´t matter because I even don`t love her now.
I don´t know why. She didn´t change or something like that. Usually there is no reason. I´m happy that I didn´t have to tell her (because she did it) because I was still having sex with her. Maybe what my mum said is right:” You´re just kids. You don´t know what love is.”.

Chapter 2

The second chapter is more centred on the relationship between Sam and Alicia. How they got to know, their first date and about Sam`s thoughts about how to loose the virginity. It`s too something told about Sam`s skatingmates Rabbid and Rubbish, aspecially about Rabbid Who seems to be a bit … silly. But he`s trying to help Sam as far as he can.

First Impression

My first impression of Sam was that he might be a bit strange and different(because he talks to a poster) but he talks about being cool, a date with his gilfriend and of skateboarding too.He talks about skateboarding and Tony Hawk of course.He talks a lot about Tony Hawk!!! Sam lives in an kind of an own world.In a world where everything is centred on skateboarding and Tony Hawk.I guess Tony Hawk is a kind of god for him. He tells about his mum and his girlfriend too, but he can find a connenction to skateboarding and Tony Hawk in everything.