Chapter 18

I went to Alicia´s house to safe that I`m still allowed to see my son in twenty years and what happens? After just five minutes of talking to Alicia, she wants me to leave the house and never see Roof again. That´s a bit ironic, isn´t it? Just how Andrea said. Imagine what could have happened, if Alicia didn´t calm done. She might have lost her temper and would have started hitting me and I would have had to protect myself and maybe I would have broken her nose and than her mum might already have called the police and I wouldn´t have been allowed to see Roof anymore. I think that´s why 80% of the teenage fathers aren´t allowed to see their sons or daughters anymore. So it´s not the boy´s fault, is it? Okay maybe there are some other reasons why fathers are not allowed to see their kids anymore, but do you see what I want to tell you? Do you see how fast things like that can happen? Only one or two misunderstanding words, only one afternoon in that your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend is in a bad mood and your life gets messed a second time. The first time you got messed up by being a father and now, when you start to love your kid, you´re not allowed to see it anymore. I talk like all that has happened to me, don´t I? I´m happy that it hasn´t happened to me till now. I´m even a bit glad.

Chapter 17

When I talk to my father, I sometimes think I talk to a teenager who copied some sentences of a bad American movie or reality-show about sex and relationships, like ´American Pie´ , ` American Pie IV´ or ´Rock of Love´. I hate ´Rock of Love´! My skateboard has more intelligence than all these unemployed porn stars and this blond jackass with his faked hair and…I better stop talking about this show, because it always makes me angry, how you may have noticed. Back to my father now, well, what I wanted to say is, that even if it´s copied, some parts of what he said are true. Well…but when I think about it again, it might not be copied, because who else knows better about it, than someone who has already been in a comparable situation? Or am I wrong about that? My mum has the same opinion like my father about the situation: Go home and don´t live with Alicia. That´s what I thought about too, but in the first night I slept in my old room at my mum´s house, I started missing Roof. Believe me, that´s terrible! If I sleep in the one house, I miss my mother, but if I sleep in the other house, I miss my son. I´m also afraid of ending up with Alicia like my parents ended up with each other. If I ever split up with her, I still want to be a good friend of hers and when I say friends I don´t mean ´friends´ like my parents, I mean friends like Doug and Deacon from ´King of Queens´ or ´Itchy and Scratchy´ from `The Simpsons` or…no. Forget about the last example, that was weird, but you know what I mean, don´t you. Real friends. For the baby´s well-being.

Chapter 16

Rufus Gerson that fits , doesn´t it? I think it fits, but sadly it doesn´t matter if it fits or not, because Roof is my son and not Jason´s. I´m surprised that I really wanted to leave Alicia and Roof alone. I thought I love them, but obviously my appetence to go back home is stronger than my love to the both of them. That seems to be a bit cold or heartless to you, but I can do nothing against it. I try to stay strong, I don´t want to hurt them, but believe me, that´s bloody hard. It´s not because of Roof, it´s because of Alicia. She´s got a very difficult personality and me too, so you can imagine how hard this is and not just for me. Sometimes I want to go back to Hastings again, with Roof, but that´s realistic as that Alicia Becomes a model. Oh…and if I´m honest, Rufus Gerson sounds stupid!!!;D

Chapter 15

I really like Alicia´s house, nice and big rooms, an fascinating kitchen only the room where I live now seems to be a bit smaller and tighter. I guess it´s because there are three people living in there: Alicia, Roof and me. I don´t like living here, but I have to, don´t I? I miss my old room and , maybe it sounds a bit childish, but I miss a TH poster hanging over the bed. Oh, and I miss my mum of course, but now back to the poster. Though I know that it´s not more than 1 meter away from me it feels like it´s `Miles Away`. I usually need to talk to him every evening to calm down, but that´s not possible because I´m never alone in this bloody room. Bloody hell! I bet: two more weeks without any break and I´m insane.

Chapter 14

That´s how the things are going. One year ago I was the proud owner of a skateboard and a xBox and now I´m a proud father. I´m not proud of having a son with sixteen. I´m proud of having such a nice and cute boy. Last week I wished this day would be `The Day That Never Comes´, but it´s not ´The Day That Never Comes´ and I´m happy about this. For me it doesn´t matter if his second name is Jones or Burns. The only thing that matters now is that Roof is going to have a nice childhood and that he is going to be a good skater. :D No. That was just a joke. I promise he will never take one feet on any skateboard. He´ll play rugby or ice-hockey or American football or soccer. Everything but skating, it´s to dangerous and my mum wouldn´t like it.

Chapter 13

Mark is going to live in our house now. I´m not angry about this, how lot´s of other teens or kids would be, when their mothers have got new boyfriends. I like Mark .I think he is going to be a good father for my half-sister. Better than my father. No. I´ve got a good father… okay not that good, but I like him. I think if he wasn´t my father I wouldn´t like him, but I like him how I got to know him as father. However, what I wanted to say at the beginning was that I even think that it´s a good idea that Mark moves to us. That will be good for my sister´s development. I don´t want to have that my half-sister has to grow up in the same conditions like I had to. Not that they were bad, but I don´t know what it would be like now if there had been a father with us.

Extra post

I still can´t imagine how silly I must have had been when I made this girl pregnant.I mean, I really like her,I even love her,but you know...talking to TH,skating and so on. All the things that have been so importnat to me.They are all gone now.Because there is no time for it.Listen, I don´t want to have that you think I hate Roof,I love him.Latest since my last whizz into the future,where I´ve seen how nice and cute he is.
But...I´m sorry. I don´t know how to discribe this feeling.It´s a mix of sadness,happieness and fear,you know? I guess you don´t,because you have never been in my situation.